I’ve been struggling to post lately, times have been hectic!
But…. Happy Mother’s Day to all my bad MotherFlowers out there! You’re appreciated!
Being a mother is the most amazingly excruciating painful and also the happiest thing in the world! I know that sounds crazy but every time I try to explain motherhood to anyone I feel like it will come out insane because this is truly a one of kind thing. I’m normally an anxious individual but the constant fear you feel as a mom is insane, fear because those little lives are in your hands, fear because you never feel you’re doing enough, fear because you feel you may be forgetting about yourself. But you also feel the biggest joy and the love between a mother and child is something so insanely special, I constantly feel like my heart will burst with how much love I have for Jackson. We sacrifice everything happily to give ourselves to these humans, a mother’s love is selfless and endless. You’ve never seen true strength like a mama protecting her baby. My mother was so relentless and resilient always so I have humongous shoes to fill and I’m so thankful for having a woman like her to lookup to.
I believe in celebrating mothers daily, waiting for one day isn’t enough, moms do so much for everyone all the time, that should be appreciated always but I also always looked forward to being celebrated. My first mother’s day was so rough, I watched my step-granddad struggle for his life after an accident that morning and pass away. Our celebration plans turned into mourning and grief, I had to pick myself up and hold it together so that my stepdad didn’t fall apart. Don Manuel was one the strongest, kindest men I had ever known, it came as such a surprise, I’d never expect it. Losing him on Mother’s day taught me to appreciate my loved ones daily, like we always hear “nunca sabes cuando te toca” (you never know when it’s your time) it reminded me to not take for granted the people around me. It also helped me grow in motherhood, it taught me lessons in putting aside pain because others need you to move forward. In times of loss, I’m always a hot ass mess or the one that retreats to grieve alone, it’s something I always struggled with but this time I had to swallow my tears to make calls for arrangements, I had to be a “mom” about it. My sadness couldn’t get in the way of things getting done, I needed to be strong for my family.
I say this all to say, as a mother no matter what gets thrown at you, you have to be fierce, you have to keep going through the storms. So people forget, we all have had moments where we forget to ask our mothers “how are you doing” because we think they’re always fine, they’re always good. Often times they’ll respond with “I’m good” because as a mom, your pain is silent, you never discuss your struggles and how hard you have it. I’m here to tell ya’ll to stop and be gentle to your moms and all the moms you know. This is the hardest job but we do it with such love and grace you’d think it was easy. Thank the mamas in your life, give them your support because you have no clue how much they need it.
To all you women out there giving this job your all, thank you. Put your feet up, don’t forget to treat yourself every now and then! And surround yourself with supportive humans who got your back!
You a bad mother flower won’t you back that xxx up!